Fame, success, and recognition, shouldn't be the metric of happiness. They don't value anything, and after you achieve them, you would know what dead end you have fallen into through the vicious spiral of comparison and enhancement.
For 1.5 years, I wasn't me. Some people, including my close ones, say I am an enigma, that's can't be understood. Well, all I can say is, for a period of 1.5 years, I was flowing in the river of unconsciousness and randomness. I am high on fame, as I stood under the limelight. Fame is such an intoxicating drug, that small contents of it, can turn the Kasturi Stag to kill itself.
In the above letter, it is clear that I was a child, who seeked to be famous, to be known, to be celebrated. I saw these celebrities and child personalities online, who were being called child prodigies. I questioned my existence every moment, I tried to understand why I wasnt know. I saw that even I deserved to be heard. I started trying to gain as much traction as possible. I wanted to be more famous.
Until one fateful day, my work machine broke down. I stumbled upon a question, why am I doing it, what was my objective, what I wanted to do. I also found no answer to technical and theoretical questions when I was being asked. The bigger picture then became clear to me. When I started back in time, at the age of 8, I never wished to gain fame or riches, I wanted answers to my questions, and at the age of 11, I forgot how to learn, and wanted to gain fame.
I left my pursuit for fame, I started my pursuit of learning again, I finished learning one thing after the other, all that I found interesting, I won't list all of them down, who further abstract my life with names, is want to provide a very simple message to the people around me.
Even today when people say now, on their own, that I am a child prodigy, I don't pay heed to the words, not to be disrespectful, but to be truthful that my knowledge, the pool of my wisdom and my experiences are far smaller and far more insignificant in size than the vast plethora of concept to inherit in mind, but mine is unique, and though insignificant, means a lot to my world and to the world that I contribute. When I started the marathon, I wasn't told that I should not run after success, but to all of you I must say, that you much run, and success is the by product, money is the byproduct, respect or recognition is the by product.
They can steal everything from you, even memories, but not your wisdom. Looking back, now that I have learned a few things, and known myself a wee bit better. I can say that the metric of success is the number of people that you have earned, and the number of people you could care for, respect and love, the more the merrier.
And a note to those who beleive to have conquered self, to have known everything that is to be known about oneself, those who are self aware as they say, called it true randomness or God, always shall surprise you, till you know that the process of live is to know and enhance self throughout, just to know that the big story is not about you, but you are an important part of it.
Thank you for reading, hope it was insightful.